Alathar's Dark Tower

"The needs of The One outweigh the needs of the many."

Alathar's Enemies

My (ex-)Enemies

Major Enemies

None - for in truth there are no others whose own feeble power could begin to threaten mine own.

Minor Enemies

The Dwarves

Recently those diminutive pests, the Dwarves, have been a particular annoyance to my Mighty Self.

As the greatest part of their nuisance has been the interminable singing of their twee mining songs ("Hi Ho, Hi Ho,...", and so on, ad nauseum), I have decided to respond in kind, and penned a suitably grim description of the fate that awaits them in the very near future.

This epic should be sung to the tune of Jerusalem:

And did those feet in recent time
Walk within Angland's Tower Dark
And did the Awesome Alathar
The Dwarves for messy killing mark?

And did the Mighty Dark-Hued Lord
Stride forth upon his mission bold?
And was foul Gimli-kin found right here
'Midst Merkar's Dark Chaotic Wolds?

Bring me my Wand for Dwarven woe:
Bring me my Lists of Wrath and Ire
Bring me my Staff: O Dwarves explode!
Bring me my Spells: Lo, Dwarves on fire!

I will not cease from Snuffing Light
Nor shall my Staff sleep in my hand
'Til I have purged all Dwarfendom
From Angland's Dark Chaotic Land.

The Elves

A sufficiently contemptible bunch that I am still trying to find suitably scathing words to describe them.

Their shortcomings shall be detailed in due course.


Puny Enemies

M'me Cook

A trivial being who has incurred my wrath by playing tricks upon and mocking my Lackey - that is my role, and any who presume to usurp it will pay a heavy price indeed.

And she need not think that unconvincing reindeer disguises will save her - Oh No!

Rather unusually, I'm with the Nutter in Black on this one - Marie must pay! - The Lackey

Disguised Marie (not!)
Click for larger image
Recently, Mme Cook has had the temerity to ask for an apology...